The Cultural Divide

[flatearth]

Hello everyone... this post might seem dense, but I'm just hoping to pull in a few responses and gather some stories of others' experiences with meeting folks for friends and relationships within (and outside of!) the Sikh community. I hope any responses aren't limited to just the men on the board - I believe the variety of experiences, both male and female, gay/bi/straight, can offer guidance in unexpected ways...

Anyway, I'm caucasion, I'm not Sikh but have (and have had in the past) Sikh friends. I'd posted a short ad here on the site and tonight I received an interesting response. While I'm not comfortable about posting it in its entirety, it has brought up the interesting issue of the cultural divide, either through nationality/national identity, race, or religion... And since I don't really have anyone else to share it with at this time, I hope to foster some constructive discussion.

The essence of the message was that I should not be here or try to meet a man in the Sikh community for friendship or relationship, and I "should just find a normal american guy". (The person who sent the message claimed to be caucasion, but anonymity provided by the internet along with the nature of the language leaves that claim open to interpretation.)

What are the first things we look for in a partner? Is it the initial physical attraction or physical attributes? A common cultural identity? A lifestyle or religious point of view?

Obviously the answer is a mix of these many things, but what are the experiences of others on the board?

Have you dated outside of these experiences/comfort zone? or even made friends with other people that are different?

I am not deterred by this note, but I am intrigued. Why discourage someone from becoming a part of this community?

I guess that's the most important question....

Thanks for reading...

[Jalebi Girl]

Physical attraction usually followed by chemistry between two persons. Looks can only carry you so far, there has to be something of substance behind the exterior. I find that I'm attracted to women who share similar values to myself. They don't neccessarily have to be of the same religion or race aslong as there is some common ground. Occasionally I'm intrigued by those who are completely opposite to myself, who turn everything you know on it's head but ultimately a number of factors come into play. Respect for yourself and others, humility and empathy are all attractive qualities in a person and an ability to laugh at yourself and others helps.