Helping Kamalla R. Kaur with her homework

[kamallarosekaur]

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh

Blessings all,

I use the Khalsa blessing and greeting not because I am Khalsa, but because I am practicing being Khalsa and because I wish the waheguru to win every battle.

This article about Sikhi/homosexuality is actually due in rough draft on Monday in a university class I am taking. I have returned to university (and I have recently learned that I will be a grandma soon too). I am working on my Masters in Creative Writing. After that I plan to go for a PhD in Sikh Studies with focus on Guruji (the SGGS).

I will have another week to complete this article and then I plan to publish it in Sikh Times (unless you all have a better Sikh venue in mind).

The more help you all give me, the better!

That is my humble request, that you all help me with quotes and references and the Punjabi side of things for the next 10 days or so.

I am not Punjabi. Punjabis confuse me and I have been studying hard for 8 years and taking in things about Punjabi culture since age 18. Here is my flash bio. out on my blog. if you're interested in my background.

kamallarosekaur.wordpress.com/2008/03/12/being-weird-by-kamalla-rose-kaur/

My big challenge, as always, is that I will be writing to a Sikh and nonSikh audience at the same time. Because I am not willing to be someone different for my Sikh of Punjabi descent audience than I am for my Pacific Northwesterner audience, this article serves as my coming out to fellow Sikhs as an ally for all my gay and lesbian, and tranny friends and heroes.

As you will learn, I am already a very OUT ally within my own culture.

Kamalla Rose Kaur

[kamallarosekaur]

I will be writing what is called a braided essay. There will be four threads or themes, that I will braid together. One will be about Guruji, and Sikhi and Sikhs and Punjabis and sex. Another will be about sex education East and West. Then I will talk about the West and how we test everybody via our media and booby-trapped new immigrants. One will be about me. me sharing scenes from my life, and about culture bridging.

I will be throwing stuff onto this thread as I write it. It won't be linear. I will post questions. Please jump right in and share and assist and respond. I'm off to ask Guruji for guidance on this paper....

[kamallarosekaur]

Guru Arjan
Page 630

All beings are Yours, O Merciful One. You cherish Your devotees. Your glorious greatness is wonderful and marvelous. Nanak ever meditates on the Naam, the Reality of the Beloved One.

[kamallarosekaur]

Questions:

What kind of sex education do Sikh boys and girls receive?

Talk to me about playground bullying and how Western children accuse everyone of being f*gs, or gay, or homos. How about in India?

How much, as a child (before puberty) did you undersatnd about sex, marriage, being gay and being straight?

If you are gay or lesbian etc. when did you suspect that you were different from the majority?

[kamallarosekaur]

Thread 1:

I'm sitting on the lip of a fountain, which is made for sitting, watching my fellow university students bustling across the main square. Most of them are decades younger than I am, walking fast towards classes, or entering the university's central plaza more leisurely - stopping to talk, eat, or just sit and rest, like me. This square is about the size of two soccer/football fields placed side by sdie. This fountain is slightly off to the South of the exact middle of the square. It is a clean aqua round kid's pool - about as wide as a two story house is tall - with several spigots in the middle of it, in a circle, gushing water, arching towards each other.

It is my breaktime. I finished a class and soon will go to work at the university's multicultural center. Thus I'm letting my brain relax. I am not thinking about my job, my homework, my assignments, rather I am noticing that this big square is paved with dull orange bricks and on all four sides there are university buildings, all deeply familiar to me. Around the square - planted many years ago - stand lovely trees displaying their autumn leaves; combinations of yellow, gold, orange, red, rose, and purple. It isn't sunny , it isn't rainy. The temperature is slighty nippy but I feel comfortable wearing my fall jacket.

Looking up, I take in how the sky is white. Slowly sliding my gaze down, I contemplate the forested hill behind the campus, huge and green/black.

Then I notice that the buildings all around me have windows and in most of those windows I see flyers posted. It is the same graphic in every window. There are no words on it. Rather it is a 8 ½ by 11 inch piece of paper with rainbow colored stripes across it.

I've noticed this before but it hits me hard this time. Suddenly this is a Sikh moment for me. It is gratitude moment, a religious moment. I have tears of praise in my eyes.

Yet I know that many Sikhs may feel angry with me. But I am not a Punjabi Sikh, I am a Pacific Northwestern USA Sikh and I am filled with gratitude and I am praising Creator/Creation because once upon a time, just a handful of years ago, an infamous Christian preacher with a “God hates homosexuals” website announced that he was coming to my hometown. He announced that he would visit this very square on this campus and preach his shocked and shocking views about gays and lesbians.

In response to this threatened exercise of free speech, professors at my university put rainbows in their windows.

The preacher didn't come afterall. It was just a test, thanks be to the Beloved One, but most of the professors left the rainbows up.

My parents, survivors of WW2, taught me to defend the rights of all people, especially homosexuals, because when the fascists return, they tend to target and kill the homosexuals first. Homosexuals were not some distant “other” for me. My Aunt was lesbian and even in my parents generation, many ordinary people in our community were “out” about being gay.

In my great-grandparents time, it was completely taboo to even think, know, much less talk about homosexuality. My parents generation and my generation and my children's generation changed that.


This is my home. This is my culture. This is the campus I was raised on and soon I will get up and head into work. Did I say that I work in the multicultural center, fighting for human rights for all? It is in that building over there on the East side of the square. That building was once my elementary school and the room where I work, was once my 5th grade classroom.

[kamallarosekaur]

Luckily for me I don't have to have a rough draft of this article until Wednesday now. It can be, and will be, very "rough" to allow my classmates and professor to impact it.

Finding out anything about sex education among Sikhs is proving to be difficult, so I plan to take a purely non-Punjabi perspective because that is all I know. Still if anyone wishes to answer some of my questions that would really help and add.

Do most Sikhs receive basic sex education? From whom and how? How are girls taught about menstration? Boys? Are couples instructed about sex before marriage? They used to say in my parents generation that most USA men knew more about how to rebuild a car engine than they knew about women's sexual anatomy, needs and responses. Can something similar be said about Sikh men (or women)? How? Why?

[kamallarosekaur]

I'm not Punjabi but my Guruji, who wrote, and lives forever within, a Holy book of poetry called the Guru Granth Sahib, is Punjabi. The Sikh scripture is my teacher. Sikh means "student" of the Sikh teacher, our scripture.

Personally I experience the Sikh Guruji as being universal and global. I can not possibly express how much I enjoy reading the Sikh Guru/scripture. The Guru Granth Sahib, I feel, is the most amazing scripture on earth. That is my opinion. I have read this world's scriptures. I like the Sikh Guru Granth best. Guruji speaks straight to me and has since I first encounter the Sikh sacred writings at age 18. Guruji's advice is amazing. So everyday, sometimes several times a day, I read a poem from the Sikh scripture. Just one at a time. Often I ask questions and then Guruji gives me answers.

Thus I am a Sikh. I am a Sikh because I have taken the Sikh scripture as my guide and teacher.

Not that I recommend any of this for other English speaking nonPunjabi people because the English translations of the Guru Granth Sahib are a joke. The translators added in sexist language and it is all quite Christian sounding. Creator/Creation has no gender, or all genders.

And the poets/sants who wrote the Sikh scripture were excellent poets. You can tell this even reading the bad translations. If you edit out the Christian tone and the Victorian accent (and the sexist language) the Guru Granth poetry/hymns shine.


Sikhs believe that the Creator and the Creation are One - One Reality.

Look around.

One.

And Sikhs believe that That One is awake and alive and cares. The very first line of the Sikh scripture is EkOngKaar. The Creator and the Creation are One.

Guruji teaches that "God" is watching and experiencing your life movie. Wake up and watch the Beloved One's movie right back. It matters what you do. Be good and kind and honest and true. Make the Beloved One proud of you. Ask for help from the Beloved One all the time. The Beloved - The All That Is - forgives you so forgive others and yourself. It's all the Divine Play of the Beloved One, and Only, One.

If you experience this, Guruji teaches it is by Grace of Creator/Creation.

This and more I have learned from the Sikh Holy Book. There are many true Sikhs who, like me, are hooked on the Sikh scripture. We've just got to see what this Holy Book is going to tell us next. My experience is that the Guru Granth is decidedly superior to astrology or numerology or the tarot for answering tough questions and getting great guidance and moral support.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My world has different customs and history and community standards than Sikhs living in the Punjab. Even Sikhs in rural India and Sikhs in urban Indian have very different lifestyles. Sikhs in diaspora in one country and Sikhs in diaspora in another country are mingling with peoples who experience differtent things.

I didn't make the world I live in. It is a world and culture where there are gay and lesbian people in my family and among my friends. A couple of generations ago many gays and lesbians "came out" in this part of the world, instead of hiding. They turned out to be friends and neighbors and nice people.

It gets hard to hate people you love, and in my world, the world I was raised in, about 1 out of 10 people are gay. This is simply a fact of my life.

Now even if my whole culture is evil and horrible ( and I think much of Western culture is in truth pretty evil and horrible,) Guruji is available and accessible to all, even people like me and mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's get specifc. What does the Sikh Guru have to say about homosexuality?


The Guru Granth does not say one thing about homosexuality. Homosexuality is not mentioned in the Sikh scripture.


However Guruji says a whole lot about how Sikhs are NOT homophobic. Guruji commands Sikhs to drop the fear/hate racket. Nirbhao, Nirvair! Be loving and kind and tolerant to all. Whether someone else is good or bad is none of our business. The Supreme One has everything handled.

For sure Guruji is very pro-marriage.

In fact Guruji teaches that all humans, men and women alike, are soulbrides, and the Beloved One is our Divine husband.

Now when I first read this I immediately thought of Carl Jung because of the animus/anima connection and because I was raised in the West where I learned about Carl Jung before I learned about the Sikh scripture.

I couldn't wait to meet Sikh men. Because Sikh men experience themselves as soulbrides!

Or they could, if they wanted to.

Meanwhile I fear that, in truth, Northern India culture displays mucho macho-ness. Darn, because I think Guruji was brilliant to tell men to devote themselves to the Beloved One like a pure hearted Indian bride. Liberation happens for Sikhs when we merge into One.

Guruji also tells Sikh women that the Beloved One is our real/true husband.

[munda]

Hello Kamalla Kaur Ji,
There is no basic sexual education in India at schools and its almost negligible at homes too. Our parents always tell us not to be naked in front of others, not to talk about organs. So there is no much talk on sex. These days serials/dramas/movies on Indian TV's talk a lot about sex, so kids get to know from there. But in my times (80's), I know I only could know about masterbation from my elder cousins. So primary source for guys of sex education was and still is gossips and many times sexual acts between guys. I don't know about girls, but I think mothers tell them about menstration.
Children in there don't make fun calling f*gs/gays as they don't know know much about this unlike western kids. I don't think most homos in there realise that they are not straight untill they reach their late teenage. Same was the case with me too.
Regarding couples, they are instructed about sex before marriage by family or close relatives/friends etc.
I hope this will do...
good luck

[kamallarosekaur]

Blessings Munda,

That is very helpful. In the West, Sikh children get picked on a lot. Homophobic name-calling is horribly common. Cross-cultural-shock must be very intense.

[irrational]

Kamalla,

I have heard a lot of knowledgeable Sikhs say that the translation of Guru Granth Sahib by Khushwant Singh is authentic and considered the best. One source is

Asian Publications
7137 - 132 Street
Surrey, BC, V3W 4M3
Canada

Phone: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email:

* Sales: [e-mail]
* General Inquiries/Information: [e-mail]

I think it might also be available from the Oxford University Press.

you wrote,"My experience is that the Guru Granth is decidedly superior to astrology or numerology or the tarot for answering tough questions and getting great guidance and moral support."

I am sorry but the tarot cards numerology etc. can't even be mentioned with the name of the Guru Granth Sahib there is absolutely no comparison. Belief in superstitions like numerology, astrology etc. is expressly forbidden by the Guru. I see no comparison.

Macho part of Punjabi men has deep and ancient roots. The region faced the Mughals and other raiders for a thousand years. Punjabis invariably had to deal with them twice, once coming in from the Khyber pass and then going back through the Khyber pass. Punjabis learned live life a day at a time because of that. The yearly raids on India by Mughals, Persians and Afghans was a contributing factor to the emergence of Sikhs as warriors and therefore the macho business.

Punjabis were different from the rest of India in another way. Brahmans were never the elite and number one in the social hierarchy. A Punjabi never considered Brahmans to be more than poor priests that performed the prayers and were given something in return so that they could get by, it is just that independent devil may care approach to life. Showmanship and bravado has always been an integral part of Punjabis, Sikhs or Hindu. Sikhs are one of the best warriors in the world. their bravery and fighting spirit is legendary. Battle of Sargrahi is considered in the same league as the Last Stand of the 300 at the Legendary Battle at Thermopylae and is one of the five most heroic battles.

This is a direct quote from Wikipedia, "The Battle of Saragarhi was fought during the Tirah Campaign on 12 September 1897 between twenty one Sikhs of the 4th Battalion (then 36th Sikhs) of the Sikh Regiment of British India, defending an army post, and 10,000 Afghan and Orakzai tribesmen in a last stand. The battle occurred in the North-West Frontier Province, now a part of Pakistan, which then formed part of British India.

The contingent of the twenty-one Sikhs from the 36th Sikhs was led by Havildar Ishar Singh. They all chose to fight to the death. Sikh military personnel and Sikh civilians commemorate the battle every year on 12 September, as Saragarhi Day. This battle has frequently been compared to the heroic stand of a small Greek force against the mighty Persian Army of Xerxes at Thermopylae in 480 B.C."

It is a common saying that with love a Punjabi can be turned into your servant, however, God forbid if one tried force. Most Panjabi men are soft hearted, emotional and caring, however, like most men hide that behind the macho mask, and I must say there has been a lot of Sikh women that fought bravely alongside men. Eve teasing in Punjab does not happen as much as the rest of India because Punjabi girls are tough and can take on the eve teasers.

Surd

[kamallarosekaur]

Thank you Surd,

I will use your words in my article. You are truthful.

I have been hanging out and debating on Sikh internet forums for most of a decade now, often the lone woman, and lone white woman. You are of course correct to correct me, but then again....I wasn't speaking to Sikhs of Punjabi descent. I was speaking to people I know in my Pacific Northwest village. They tend to be anti-religion but pro-spirituality. Others I know are humanists, scientists. Some of them have an understanding of Eastern thought, maybe a thrid of my friends and readers. But they know little about Sikhi. Half have taken LSD when they were teenagers and experienced fleeting non-dualistic awareness. Many people I know are skeptics but I avoid cynics. I have many very enlightened friends too. Others are dull dualists, but smart and kind.

Tarot and astrology are common and fun, and the waheguru speaks in all sorts of ways to people of different cultures. Astrology in the West seems lighter than astrology in India. People don't take it too seriously, but the archetypes are interesting.

That said, I was being sneaky. I got trained up as a theater director and I was hoping for participation.

Nothing like comparing Guruji to astrology to get Sikhs responding! Thanks so much.

I also need to mention that my mentor and teacher in theater arts is a notable homosexual.

www.acadweb.wwu.edu/CPNWS/mason/masontitle.htm

Read his bio. notes. Then read his "school opera" - a musical that teaches university level environmental studies.

Blue Baroque

kamallarosekaur.wordpress.com/2008/05/07/blue-baroque-by-david-mason/

Gurfateh!



I am sorry but the tarot cards numerology etc. can't even be mentioned with the name of the Guru Granth Sahib there is absolutely no comparison. Belief in superstitions like numerology, astrology etc. is expressly forbidden by the Guru. I see no comparison.

[kamallarosekaur]

Homophobia

Homophobia is often a crazy way that heterosexual men experience their fear of rape. Certainly, one form torture takes is rape. People who rape women or men, girls or boys are sexually attracted to violence and domination. Women and girls get raped far more than boys and men. Men and women alike often feel it better to die than be tortured sexually. This is all very understandable.

But projecting our fear of rape onto innocent people doesn't stop the criminals and torturers one bit. If someone is a rapist they should be arrested. Women who hate all men because a few men are rapists are fairly rare. But heterosexuals linking all homosexuals with rapists are oppressing innocent people. They are accusing innocent people of crimes they would never consider committing. This is wrong.

Lets get the bad guys and leave nice people alone.

I notice that most Sikhs who speak out against homosexuals do not seem to know any homosexuals. They are not aware of having met any gays or lesbians, though they may suspect that they know one. Many Sikh don't believe that 1 out of 10 people around them are gay or lesbian or bi-sexual and may be hiding it. This is the way it was in the West too until the last few decades.

Now gay and lesbian Sikhs are coming out too. This is the world we live in.

[kamallarosekaur]

Blessings,

I edited and turned in a bunch of writing and then met with a group of classmates today to get their feedback and help, and give mine to their efforts. They need me to provide more background on Sikhs and Sikhi and I think my Sikh audience needs background about the modern history of LGBT movement in the West. They asked for SGGS quotes too.

[kamallarosekaur]

Blessings friends,

I am pretty pleased with my article. It is being reviewed by my professor, and I will work on it some more based on his feedback, and then I will seek to publish it.

Thanks for being here.

Kamalla Rose Kaur