I'm a 28 year old female in the US. I'm straight and my parents are pressuring me to get married. I find myself in a really tough spot, I don't want to disappoint them and get disowned but I really, really do not want to be in a marriage that I do accept.
I don't mean to be offensive, or exploitative, but if there is a Punajbi gay man in the US that doesn't want to come out to his family, I'd love to set up an arrangement where both our families would be satisfied. I really think we could make this work, and you'd be under no obligation toward me in any way including financially. It wouldn't even need to be permanent, we could figure out the details, if you're interested.
Again, I really do not mean to offend anyone, but if this is something that would be a solution for you as well, I'd love to talk to you.
I feel a mixture of sadness and sweetness when I read these posts. I send you all my love in searching for the right thing to do and say whilst working with these terribly oppressive dynamics. I am white, I'm divorced, I'm Gay, out and happy! I would scream 'don't do it' or 'don't let them do it to you' and I know just how oppressive all this can be. I come from a 'born again Christian' family and being gay was aligned with being 'from the Devil'. Often we don't need to tell our family that we are gay! we can let them come slowly to the conclusion you might be gay. Would this be something that might help. Perhaps your sexuality might be a little more apparent! With time they might back off with the understanding that their actions could be harmful. I really hope it all works out. what a nightmare!
Entering a marriage of convenience is not the answer. Be true to yourself and live your life - people, parents or others, may disapprove but will eventually come around. To all gay or bi Sikh guys and girls - don't do it - find the one you will be happy with and marry them - marriage is a bond between two consenting adults and not a solution to escape a difficult situation.