Hey there. Recently discovered this site, as well as the Gay and Proud Sikhs group on Fbook. I think its great, as I would love to meet some Gay Sikhs. Currently, I have met none aside from those online.
I'm 30, born in Bradford and know I was gay from a young age. Cut a long story short, I'm out to my family who after a difficult period from 14yrs to 20yrs accepted this and I now enjoy a very strong relationship with them; one I only dreamt of when I was young.
I've always socialised on the gay scene in Leeds/Manc and London, but recently have been asking the question of myself - what more is out there. Always been very spritual and my parents schooled me in Kirtan and classical music. Now finding that I would like to rediscover my faith and to this end am taking an interest again in Kirtan and Gurbaani. In the past and still to this day, as I have not always felt that welcome in my local Gurudwara, I have usually taken my spiritual moments in other ways - with friends/through music. I guess you can find yourfaith anywhere.
Generally would like to meet other Gay Sikhs - I'm not practising as such, and generally socialise with mainly European girls, who I have also gained much strength and love from. If anyone is seeking something similar pls drop me a line on here with your email address.
Currently planning on taking a trip round the world in 2011, first stop India on a motorbike go to the Gurudwaras and also perhaps to some Sufi shrines (I love Qawaali). If you have any advice re this pls get in touch.
Much love to all my sisters out there, and respect for your strength.
I have some good advice 4 u...dont eat meat, dont hav ne dairy and make sure u spray ur self head 2 toe twice a day with mosquito spray (even if ther aint ne mosquitos)!! Trust me... u will survive and be able 2 finish ur around the world trip aslong as u follow these rules.
I've come across this website a couple of times and read the posts/articles and such but only recently decided to join, the reason for that? i don't really know but i figured it was time to put some real input into a site which has shown there are a lot of men and women out there in the same kind of 'situation' as myself.
I'm 21 from the Midlands and I have probably known or atleast had an inkling I was somewhat different since my mid to late teens. I tried not to focus on it much and spent most my time just hanging out with my friends ( very 'typical' asians) who has the same sort of morals, family values and general somewhat strict families as myself.
Anyway I'm now in my final year of university and even though i lived away from home for the first few years I never quite grasped it as being an opportunity to 'come out' as i never felt and even now do not feel comfortable enough labelling myself. Also, I honestly know for a fact my family AND close friends (especially ones i grew up with through my school life) would never accept it, I've seen how many of the women on here have had to go through lets say difficult times when coming out, but how did you deal with the backlash of it?
I think to myself, in an ideal world would I want to 'come out' and have everyone accept me, but I don;t think i could...I guess even though it's been nearly 6 years since i've thought i might be gay i have yet to accept it, and it sounds stupid...foolish and naive for me to even admit this but somewhere deep down I wish i will 'just get over it'.
I find it amazing on here that so many women out there have come to terms with and accepted themselves the way they are and have also given their families and friends the opportunity even let it be over a number of years to accept them as well growing stronger family bonds to some retrospects.
So my question is, what waas the turning point that lead you to come out? and how did you learn to stop fighting who you are and accept everything for how it is?
Wow this was meant to be a really short post, my bad. Sorry. lol. I'd love to hear everyones or anyones experiences in this, as I have yet to find the courage personally to fully accept myself.
p.s. i agree with what Jazzy has written, ont eat any meat or paneer or dairy in india, you never know and you dont want yourself getting any bad stomach aches! and also take plenty of imodium
I like to introduce myself-I spent alot of time in the closet thinking coming out to friends and parents just won't wash with them...they'll never accept it and will probably disown me etc.
I have now come out to my close friends and they love me and always have and always will-I think that if ur friends can accept u for who you are and what u are then they are worth keeping friends can be a major part of ur developement as a person. I also found that when ur in a relationship u dn't really need to tell anyone u are gay its only when i was alone i needed my friends around me and i needed to tell them i am lesbian-and also just to help me accept myself to get advice rejection or some reaction to me being me.
I think its best not to come out unless u have had a relationship and its definetely what u want-this is why telling ur family is different and much hard because i dn't want to let them down or want them to question their upbringing. slightly contradictive on the other hand when u have had a relationship for a while and ur happy then i think hiding something like this would be lieing to ur parents and no good will come out of it-its best to tell them.
this is going to sound obserd but i talk to my mum about gay ppl in general and she seems to be understanding but laughs at the eastenders storyline-and thinks its unorthodox. The other day i tried to hint again by saying i never want to get married but she just thought im just having another rant about how useless men are and that woman can do just as well. i think if i tell my mum im gay she would either laf or slap me!
when it comes to religion-at the end of the day there is one god and we all belong to him no mattter who we are and what faith we believe in-of course u can be spiritual and gay? although i do question it myself.
I'd love to meet someone who helps me answer my questions and also theirs too-I'v been out to gay clubs and pubs and joined gaydar but still havent found that someone.
Just stumbled across this website and read the many articles/threads posted. . .some which i can relate to and others which i wish i could relate to !!!
I have been constantly trying to battle with the 2 lifes i lead and the many chains of thought that have gone through my mind over the years. . .from wanting to scream from the rooftops that i am gay and then to the other extreme doing everything possible to cover all my 'outings' ' and everything about me that states im gay !!! . . . Wanting to do the right thing and get married as thats what every indian girl does (sounds silly but there are times when i think i want this tooo !!!!) and then trying to find any possible excuse to tell my parents why this ' potential husband ' is not the one !!!
For me, its not about religion but just wanting to be accepted by family. . .not wanting any backlash or the many years of exile.
One minute i think i ought to get married as i wont be able to bring my girlfriend back home to see my family for the weekend or even attend family functions together but i guess it boils down to not finding 'the one' yet. No relationship is quaranteed to last for always and forever be it straight or gay but the chances are higher if the couple are reading from the same hymn sheet !!!
I am middle aged and married. My daughter is in her early twenties and studying medicine. She recently informed my wife and myself that she has no interest in men but rather she is attracted to girls. Personally I have no problem with this as long as she is happy. When she finishes her studies I will give her financial support to find her own home.
We have always had a close relationship but since she's told us about her feelings she seems to be embarassed and a little distant emotionally. I have told her over and over again that I have no problems with her choice.
I yearn for that closeness and love that we always had before. Can any of the girls here please offer some advice? Your help will be most appreciated.
I am new myself so I don't know if I should really post advice first up but thank you for offering such support to your daughter. I don't think i could expect the same from my parents. She is probably feeling lonely and guilty at the same time. She has probably not expected you would support her so maybe she is feeling guilty for not being able to fulfill some of the wishes you might have had of her. I think give her time, go to PFLAG events with her. I think there are some Indian groups as well. Just be there for her when she needs your help. Maybe she is not completely comfortable herself and still coming to terms with her feelings so maybe she needs a support network. Get her in touch with sites and organisations like sarbat.net and perhaps she needs to make other gay desi friends.
Thanks once again for your support to your daughter. The world needs more parents like you.
Just wanted to say for some reasons the last forum chat was deleted but a new one has been created. So please all of you who joined before and everyone new please join.
It's for asian girls and their supporters. I know there are many of you out there especially in the UK So please join. In particular i'd like a friend who joined after reading this here. You know who you are. So please join so i can have a way to talk to you again