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Post by jaatdikuri on Jun 17, 2008 23:02:02 GMT
So I'm going to be 33 in a few weeks time and I've taken some brave steps, providing freedom that most of my sikh brothers and sisters would envy. I came out to my parents whilst at university that started a 7 year exile from my family and culture that I call my "wilderness years". I am now reconciled with my family (for 5 yrs - and yes I made the first move), and have attended my younger sisters and cousins weddings (I was the eldest). Besides I got my degree and now I got Masters YAAR!!! The relationships I have now with parents, grandparents and all those that were ever close (i.e. not just aunties/uncles at the gurdwara) are of a quality and depth that I never imagined possible. That doesn't mean we talk about it... in fact that's probably the only thing that we don't talk about!! It's part of my life that's mine alone. Being single it's easy to deal with right now. But the thought of introducing a partner or talking about children that I may have still terrifies me rigid... then I remember I've done this before (bared my soul and been brutally honest) and have always been rewarded (even if took a while and more effort on my part!!). The question and indeed purpose for this post is: I've taken the decisions, I've dealt with the consequences and have learned my lessons, so: Where are you all? Am I the only one? Has no one else of Sikh origin followed this path? (find that hard to believe - I'm not that great!!) Am I destined to be with gori kuri (because they are the only lesbians I meet!!)... always explaining the word/joke/reference/idea etc? I want/need someone who gets this... not a girlfriend or lover or partner... just a friend to whom I don't have to explain and can talk my mixed up punjabi'ish (that's Punjabi and English mix innit) to? Where are you? Are you out there and more to the point do you have the gumption to reply and get in contact? If you do reply to the post.. if you're more daring reply to me directly: mandy@spindletree.wanadoo.co.uk
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Post by Rebel Kid on Oct 4, 2008 10:31:20 GMT
well im here missy
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Post by asianvibe on Dec 28, 2008 2:37:53 GMT
Hey Missis
There are quite a few Sikh d*kes in London and I'm one of them- so your not alone and no your not destined be a gori kuri and yes I get it and I too can chat in my mixed up punjabi'ish. So I'll drop you a mail and we'll we can take any new found friendship from there.
I was out to all of my family virtually and had a 17 year relationship with a Sri lankan woman - even took her to the old pind in India and my family got on with her really well and I was out to them.
Unfortunately we broke up and after a few years of licking my wounds had another and she visisted my extended family in India too.
The thing I found is coming out isn't easy anyway even more so if your asian but then I was lucky didn't have too much trouble in the end and my brothers and sisters here were really brilliant apart from one when he had rows came out with his homophobic crap. However I did angst about telling my dad because all my siblings thought it best not to tell him but he knew without me having to spell it out to him.
What I found was homophobia in reverse. When my dad passed away it started and actually when disputes ensued re who was to care for my mother thats when I experienced it in a real way and I couldn't really talk to anyone about it -
So I'll send you this to your email just thought I should paste it here too as I benefitted from reading other sikhi's account of being queer.
All for now.
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Post by jaylondon on Jan 17, 2009 15:27:26 GMT
The question and indeed purpose for this post is: I've taken the decisions, I've dealt with the consequences and have learned my lessons, so: Where are you all? Am I the only one? Has no one else of Sikh origin followed this path? (find that hard to believe - I'm not that great!!) Am I destined to be with gori kuri (because they are the only lesbians I meet!!)... always explaining the word/joke/reference/idea etc? Plenty of Sikhs have followed the path that you have, and there are quite a few Sikh lesbians and gay men that I know of in London. However, the question shouldn't be about whether you are destined to be with a Gori or an English Punjabi girl. It should be about who you connect with the most, on both a personal and intellectual level, regardless of ethnicity and religion. I myself have found that I have had more in common with the 'goray' than I have had with the Sikh friends that I know. My own relationships have been almost solely with white men, with my ex having been a Irish atheist who nevertheless respected my religious beliefs and my pagri. Love knows no boundaries. It may be harder work trying to explain jokes phrases in English when you'd prefer to do so in Punjabi, but that is a small price to pay if you have a partner who has very few other faults.
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Post by Jalebi Girl on Apr 25, 2009 15:27:29 GMT
We're definitely here, probably lurking at your local HMV
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Post by core on Apr 26, 2009 17:34:52 GMT
hi! i found out about this forum jus googlin tryin to find if there are other sikh lesbians. so just to live they way i want i joined the army i happy with my job and have met amazing people. but i was major thing for my family none of them spoke to me thru out my training which made it hard for me. i came out to my sis and bro they dont talk about it but dont think i will come out to my mother unless i have my own house a wifey a honest relationship i suppose. but hoping one day my family will see that im happy being who im they will understand. if u grls have a hangout place let me know it be great to meet some sikh grlz
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Post by Paris on Jul 14, 2009 14:01:46 GMT
Hi ladies! I am a 23 year old American Sikh woman and I am gay. I am out to many of my friends but not to my family or my partner's family (except her brother who already knew she was gay and is happy for us). Just writing to say you're not alone!
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We hav gandalfbeardfrodosfeet
Guest
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Post by We hav gandalfbeardfrodosfeet on Jul 22, 2009 0:23:39 GMT
hello,how is everyone? was just readin the forum. i'm slightly confused with the "5 sisters."i'm slightly tiered now so this is a very random comment i'm leaving...but yes random is good... not a fan of orderly stuff.Well, i'm also not having much luck finding some1 that i can just talk 2 and not have 2 explain what the random 'hunna.. rhendhay..hai hai etc comments mean. Would be really good to be able to just talk to someone on this level.Maybe a meeting point..? I'm from the land of Brum.. any1 from here? I know we have a few nights like saathi night at dv8 but its so hard knowing who is actually lesbian or straight. And, then if u end up saying hi to someone they thinkin ur trying it on with them and then u've just caused unnecessary hassal, Confusion confusion......and so, on that very informative note i'm going to leave u ladies to enjoy the rest of ur day and not waste any more of ur time. BUT, feel free to respond back.
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Post by Jazzy on Aug 4, 2009 15:45:30 GMT
hello,how is everyone? was just readin the forum. i'm slightly confused with the "5 sisters."i'm slightly tiered now so this is a very random comment i'm leaving...but yes random is good... not a fan of orderly stuff.Well, i'm also not having much luck finding some1 that i can just talk 2 and not have 2 explain what the random 'hunna.. rhendhay..hai hai etc comments mean. Would be really good to be able to just talk to someone on this level.Maybe a meeting point..? I'm from the land of Brum.. any1 from here? I know we have a few nights like saathi night at dv8 but its so hard knowing who is actually lesbian or straight. And, then if u end up saying hi to someone they thinkin ur trying it on with them and then u've just caused unnecessary hassal, Confusion confusion......and so, on that very informative note i'm going to leave u ladies to enjoy the rest of ur day and not waste any more of ur time. BUT, feel free to respond back. Hey, saathi is the worst place to go!! i tell u sumthin 4 nothin..its going 2 b hard 2 find a decnt sikh girl. i was lucky 2 find a decent sikh girl but most girls that go saathi, club kali.. etc they are a waste of time. Jaz
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Post by rainbow on Aug 5, 2009 2:26:20 GMT
Hi ladies! I am a 23 year old American Sikh woman and I am gay. I am out to many of my friends but not to my family or my partner's family (except her brother who already knew she was gay and is happy for us). Just writing to say you're not alone! That's two of us Americans
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Post by Ami on Aug 27, 2009 11:29:10 GMT
Well I stumbled upon this site last night..and I'm glad there are other punjabi women out there who are like me.
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Post by Ami on Aug 27, 2009 11:33:17 GMT
It's me again..I live in Leicester and it would be good to make a friend locally who is loving ladies and punjabi. My girlfriend is mixed race and can understand basic punjabi..I want to teach her some more..any tips? Books you can recommend?
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hav gandolfsbeardsofrodosfeet
Guest
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Post by hav gandolfsbeardsofrodosfeet on Sept 17, 2009 11:28:38 GMT
"saathi is the worst place to go!! i tell u sumthin 4 nothin..its going 2 b hard 2 find a decnt sikh girl. i was lucky 2 find a decent sikh girl but most girls that go saathi, club kali.. etc they are a waste of time. ....."
So jazzy... Where do u recommend? Btw are u in bham?
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kuri
New Member
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Post by kuri on Sept 30, 2009 11:56:57 GMT
Hey Girls, Here's another Sikh lesbian to add to the board.. except this one is from Canada To those that think you are alone, please don't... this board is a testament to our presence.. we may not be as large in number as the goriyaan.. but it's all about quality over quantity isn't it.. and quality we definitely have! I have dated only Indians & Pakistanis - but I must say, there is something about our punjabi women that make me feel so comfortable and understood.. the language, the culture, the religion & traditions.. all of which is sooo rich and vibrant and so difficult to explain to an outsider has made my relationships all that more stronger. I know that when & if I settle down with a woman.. she will encompass all of the aforementioned and we will grow to be old bibiyaan together...
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Post by amritgaura on Jan 2, 2010 0:00:09 GMT
Hey there. Recently discovered this site, as well as the Gay and Proud Sikhs group on Fbook. I think its great, as I would love to meet some Gay Sikhs. Currently, I have met none aside from those online. I'm 30, born in Bradford and know I was gay from a young age. Cut a long story short, I'm out to my family who after a difficult period from 14yrs to 20yrs accepted this and I now enjoy a very strong relationship with them; one I only dreamt of when I was young. I've always socialised on the gay scene in Leeds/Manc and London, but recently have been asking the question of myself - what more is out there. Always been very spritual and my parents schooled me in Kirtan and classical music. Now finding that I would like to rediscover my faith and to this end am taking an interest again in Kirtan and Gurbaani. In the past and still to this day, as I have not always felt that welcome in my local Gurudwara, I have usually taken my spiritual moments in other ways - with friends/through music. I guess you can find yourfaith anywhere. Generally would like to meet other Gay Sikhs - I'm not practising as such, and generally socialise with mainly European girls, who I have also gained much strength and love from. If anyone is seeking something similar pls drop me a line on here with your email address. Currently planning on taking a trip round the world in 2011, first stop India on a motorbike go to the Gurudwaras and also perhaps to some Sufi shrines (I love Qawaali). If you have any advice re this pls get in touch. Much love to all my sisters out there, and respect for your strength. Amrit xxx
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