Post by JatSikhGuy4 on Feb 5, 2017 1:35:27 GMT
Hi there,
32 year old Jat Sikh guy here. I always thought (naively perhaps) that everything would work out...but alas it hasn't, hence the reason why I'm using this platform in the hope that I can openly share and find a solution to my predicament,which I hope many of you can relate to.
Here it goes..
About five years ago ago I finally accepted that I am a bisexual man. Without diving into the depths of the Kinsey Scale and where exactly I fit (!), there is no doubt in my mind that while a significant focus of my sexual attraction is guided towards men, I have felt/and continue to feel sexually attracted to women. It's a different type of attraction...but an attraction nonetheless that I would like to pursue, in the hope I can find a woman that is not only my best friend but also my wife and mother to my children.
I don't know if I am alone in feeling this way ..but I am hoping there is a Sikh girl out there, preferably from the UK, that can relate to what I have written here. I find the discussion around sexuality can often be binary...that you're either gay or straight. I'm neither.
I'm not a keshdari Sikh but my faith in Waheguru is strong. I believe everything in life happens for a reason and our character is defined by how we respond to situations. I didn't ask to be bisexual...yet I realise I have a choice in how I deal with it. I can't supress my feelings...that only does more harm. My attraction to men is something I cannot ignore hence my decision to start the search for a MOC of sorts. To be honest, I'm not even sure I'm looking for a MOC in the literal sense. I want to get married to a woman for more than just convenience - there's definitely a MOC element to it but I see that in terms of being 100% truthful to each other about sexuality. I don't think I could deal with a "traditional" MOC (is there such a thing?!) where a guy and girl leave completely separate lives. I guess what I am looking for is a woman who understands my sexuality (I'd wang to actively understand and respect her sexuality) but is also committed to a marriage of love, friendship, children and space for both of us to pursue another loving relationship with a person of the same sex. Don't get my wrong - when I say "another loving relationship with a person of the same sex", I don't mean being promiscuous or pursuing the fulfilment of lust, I mean something more meaningful.
I would like to go through life by working towards Guru Nanak Dev Ji's ideals of naam japna, vand chakna and kirat karni. I would love to live life in Grishti...but I also want to be able to live honestly with myself and the women with whom I make a home.
My sexuality is a complete secret. I'm not "out" as bisexual and firmly intend to keep it that way. I don't see a contradiction with this and with what I have said earlier (happy to expand on this).
I now find myself in a situation where I feel I can go out and openly (albeit with some of the anonymity that comes with this forum) to "lay out my cards". If you're reading this and feel like it resonates with you...and happen to be a Sikh woman (you don't have to be Sikh), I would love to hear from you. My email address is JatSikhMunda@mail.com
I'm hoping all or most of my message makes sense 😊. Sometimes it's so hard putting into words ideas that are often the result of incredibly intense emotions and feelings.
Thank you - appreciate the time taken to read this.
Jag
32 year old Jat Sikh guy here. I always thought (naively perhaps) that everything would work out...but alas it hasn't, hence the reason why I'm using this platform in the hope that I can openly share and find a solution to my predicament,which I hope many of you can relate to.
Here it goes..
About five years ago ago I finally accepted that I am a bisexual man. Without diving into the depths of the Kinsey Scale and where exactly I fit (!), there is no doubt in my mind that while a significant focus of my sexual attraction is guided towards men, I have felt/and continue to feel sexually attracted to women. It's a different type of attraction...but an attraction nonetheless that I would like to pursue, in the hope I can find a woman that is not only my best friend but also my wife and mother to my children.
I don't know if I am alone in feeling this way ..but I am hoping there is a Sikh girl out there, preferably from the UK, that can relate to what I have written here. I find the discussion around sexuality can often be binary...that you're either gay or straight. I'm neither.
I'm not a keshdari Sikh but my faith in Waheguru is strong. I believe everything in life happens for a reason and our character is defined by how we respond to situations. I didn't ask to be bisexual...yet I realise I have a choice in how I deal with it. I can't supress my feelings...that only does more harm. My attraction to men is something I cannot ignore hence my decision to start the search for a MOC of sorts. To be honest, I'm not even sure I'm looking for a MOC in the literal sense. I want to get married to a woman for more than just convenience - there's definitely a MOC element to it but I see that in terms of being 100% truthful to each other about sexuality. I don't think I could deal with a "traditional" MOC (is there such a thing?!) where a guy and girl leave completely separate lives. I guess what I am looking for is a woman who understands my sexuality (I'd wang to actively understand and respect her sexuality) but is also committed to a marriage of love, friendship, children and space for both of us to pursue another loving relationship with a person of the same sex. Don't get my wrong - when I say "another loving relationship with a person of the same sex", I don't mean being promiscuous or pursuing the fulfilment of lust, I mean something more meaningful.
I would like to go through life by working towards Guru Nanak Dev Ji's ideals of naam japna, vand chakna and kirat karni. I would love to live life in Grishti...but I also want to be able to live honestly with myself and the women with whom I make a home.
My sexuality is a complete secret. I'm not "out" as bisexual and firmly intend to keep it that way. I don't see a contradiction with this and with what I have said earlier (happy to expand on this).
I now find myself in a situation where I feel I can go out and openly (albeit with some of the anonymity that comes with this forum) to "lay out my cards". If you're reading this and feel like it resonates with you...and happen to be a Sikh woman (you don't have to be Sikh), I would love to hear from you. My email address is JatSikhMunda@mail.com
I'm hoping all or most of my message makes sense 😊. Sometimes it's so hard putting into words ideas that are often the result of incredibly intense emotions and feelings.
Thank you - appreciate the time taken to read this.
Jag